Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
