apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
