Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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