I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
