I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
