he wants to bone in the snuggie
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
