So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
