So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
