WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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