I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
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