Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
