o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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