If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
