I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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