You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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