I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
