i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No more Irish car bombs ever.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
