Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize