ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
