I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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