You really coming over, don't trick.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
