part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
