this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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