i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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