Sponge bath it is.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
