i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
