I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize