I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
