Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
