It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
