ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
