Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize