i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
