Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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