During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you win again, gameday.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
