Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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