I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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