so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
