This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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