dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize