I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
