There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
where am i from again
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
