Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm like, not good at living.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
