I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
