I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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