Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
