I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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