Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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