Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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