that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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