Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize