You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize