I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
