I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
