I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
