dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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