Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
