ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
