I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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