I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
